Fringeafreakin day

For frickinmcgickin what a blumminmcblummin day. I'll tell you a story. Dad visiting. Dads a big walker. So me and the pup went for a pre walk walk before he got there, get all the crazy out of the dog before father got involved. He's a real stickler for absolute obedience with dogs (he forgets that we used to have two crazy mental labradors...). So the real walk eventually begins (after a pre walk coffee of course) and I have planned a nice route through my local park. I have taken to walking for hours a day at the moment, I don't expect I'll keep it up forever but I'll make the most of it while I can be bothered. Long story short Dad crashed and had a sugar low. I was 30 minutes into a circular track but stupidly told him to wait on a bench and I'd go get him something. It'd be an hour before I could bring him anything. What did I do? Yup, shortcut. Through the woods. Rambo style. Mud up to my knees. Lost a boot at one point. Zeb was a star, sniffing ahead, finding where to go, when out of the corner of my eye I saw cars, a car park! There must be something here. I saw a crowd of people and ran towards them to ask where the nearest shop was. Judging by my thinking cap I figured it was the school I knew we were near, but it was the October holidays, and everyone was dressed in black...hmmm, maybe I'll go this way. Three no dogs signs later and I was stuck on a circular path, in the middle of a crematorium, with four hearses coming one way and a group of mourners lining the path in the other direction. Argh!! I ran past the crowd and hoped people didn't think I was being disrespectful. I think instead they saw a crazy lost girl with a wee well behaved dog who didn't mean any harm. Maybe they had a wee laugh? I ask too much, I know. Out of the graveyard and into an industrial estate where we bolted to a wee makeshift shop, grabbed juice, crisps and a twix. RAN all the way back, trying to avoid the graveyard, instead ended up in the middle of the golf course where we slipped and slid in the rain with no means of escape! Luckily noone was playing. Remember that long story short? Dad had only waited 5 minutes and left. And he has been warned NEVER to leave the house without a cheeky chocolate bar in his pocket again...